fat

On the bottom here we have your standard-issue "stocky guy," and up top we have "out of shape dad." I have a feeling you'll be pleased with this hybrid model of beach bod!

Great, Siri's acting catty just because she's a slender two and a half inches.

And clearly you both needed some more sunscreen. Let that molting skin be a reminder that we didn't come to the Pearl Jam concert to see this.

It's usually unfair to assume that someone's pregnant, but why would she show her belly like that? I mean, she took the time to roll up her shirt to the exact level her womb would be if it was fertile.

We won't judge if you want to do your Hulk impression in a tiny shirt. Go for it!

If the dress were any smaller, those would be on your chin, lady!

I have never been so happy to see a paunch in my entire life. Thank you, thank you for protecting us from that sight.