Practically begging to be fired

Success is the best revenge

Many a misguided middle manager has had the idea of hosting meetings at a time that is convenient for everyone: say during lunch hour when everyone is on break, so won't have any meetings scheduled… except that break is unpaid and, well, when are people supposed to eat their actual lunch when there's suddenly a meeting jammed in there. No matter how fun they try to make it sound, “zazzing” it up and naming it something they think is cool, like “Power Hour Lunch Sync,” the reality remains the sa…

Almost certainly, at some point, those working shift work, or in other jobs where timesheets need to be kept, have been told by some manager not to “bother” reporting time that they worked over their shift because it's “inconvenient” for them to report it. Sometimes, this comes in the form of being told that it needs to be at least 15 minutes to be reported and counted for anything, but that's not really true—at all. If anything, if their system can't handle menial minutes overtime, then they s…

One worker's life hack for free babysitting is driving his coworker up the wall. Sometimes your personal life can really get in the way of your work life. There are family emergencies, or perhaps you're dealing with your own health issues, or maybe your babysitter quits on you, and now you're stuck with your kids all day while you scramble to find a new one. At times, you might feel guilty for the burden this puts on your coworkers, and hopefully you work with your manager or HR to resolve the…

First-day fumble

LOL

The first day at a new job is a nerve-wracking experience. With none of the comforts of a practiced routine and familiarity, it really feels like you're totally winging it and just laying it all out there. Of course, when nerves are frayed and you're feeling jittery, it's more likely you're going to stuff something up, which is why those first-day nerves end up being rather prophetic. This worker made just about the worst first-day mistake you could possibly imagine when they accidentally poure…

By the time you're training new hires in your department and taking on additional responsibilities and work, it's about time to start wondering when that promotion is coming. Let's face it: you're basically contributing at a level as if you'd been promoted already, so all that's left is to make the adjustment to your title and compensation. But, of course, no one likes paying for something they're already getting for free—and employers, first and foremost. So they'll drag out that promotion as…

The proverb “A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush” postulates that you're better off with what you have or are able to get now rather than what you might be able to get in the future. Reson being that While working for an emergency telecommunications company, this worker fell into the all-too-common trap of taking on additional work with the promise that it would eventually lead to more pay. Spoiler alert: It didn't. With the proverbial carrot dangling just in front of them indefin…

We thought the titular contests of the “Hunger Games” series were just some SciFi hoopla, yet here is this eerily similar real-world equivalent: competing for the privilege of working so that you can continue to support your own survival. In fact, “Hunger Games” is a fitting name given the fact that the arena for this real-world analog was in a restaurant. Everyone who has ever worked in the service industry or retail knows that customer reviews are a total grab bag, you can do nothing exceptio…

A double-edged sword cuts both ways, and you could probably get a paper cut from a double-sided print job, too. Cutting costs might seem like a good idea, but really, you're probably just going to slice right through other important things like customer satisfaction and, by extension, your company's profit. After all, as the old saying goes…You gotta spend money to make money. Overly inflexible policies are almost certainly a double-edged sword. When you demand rigid adherence to rules, leaving…

You messed with the wrong lunch

When maintaining million-dollar machines is the singular focus of your work, you'd hope that your manager would leave well enough alone and trust you to know how to do your thing. Alas, when it comes to new management, leaving well enough alone is something that is never in the playbook, a “one-size-fits-all” approach taking precedence over logical reason. This machine operator worked at an aerospace manufacturing company, executing an efficient routine by starting work early to ensure that mac…

Who's next to walk the plank?

Many times in life you should be careful what you wish for. Especially in business, foolish ultimatums that you think your subordinates won't be able to rise to may only inspire them to call your bluff and look elsewhere for employment. Being underappreciated in your work really is frustrating, especially since it usually goes hand in hand with being underpaid. Employers often will downplay your contributions, whether consciously or subconsciously, instead attributing the company's success to t…