Via AsapSCIENCE
drugs
This coked out idiot must've been on one to take a snapchat / let multiple snapchat videos be taken of him amidst his dance with the Bolivian Marching Powder. Let it be a lesson to us all --- social media and drugs mix about as well as toothpaste and orange juice, kiddos. Hopefully Ian Kahaloa can get the help he needs to get back on track, and didn't entirely blow his shot at playing in the big leagues.
Via Buzzfeed
Word to the wise: When you're looking to make a drug deal, always use FaceTime. That way you can verify who you're talking to. Verification is key to a successful drug deal. It's also helpful to do your drugs after talking to your dealer. You want to make sure that you're in the right frame of mind to make a business transaction. You don't want to end up like this dude.
According to the NY Post, this Pennsylvanian genius accidentally texted an assistant DA that he wanted to trade some weed for heroin. Whoopsie-doodles.
The Post reports:
Authorities say a man mistakenly sent a text message to a Pennsylvania prosecutor indicating that he wanted to trade marijuana for heroin.
Luzerne County prosecutors say Assistant District Attorney Jill Matthews received a text Nov. 2 using drug lingo that they called an “obvious text for a drug deal.” They say she later received a photo of a plastic bag containing a green substance on a scale.
Ain't that some shit?
Dude, check your numbers. How do you accidentally text a prosecutor this? Do they have the same names in your contacts? Is that name "Good Deals?"
Is this seriously what the U.S. government thinks is being passed around and puffed at the nearest, fine and highly enlightened hotbox session? If so, please allow me to bag up the nearest suitable mound of grass clippings, and light that shit up.
Via Vital Events
I have no idea what this seven kinds of crazy young lady is on, but whatever it is, can I get some? Clearly someone f**ked with the batch of whatever she ingested, and we're fortunate(?) enough to witness her psychedelic-fueled trip to Pluto and back. She definitely didn't fail to get out of her mind (out of her damn body) for a music festival. I want the follow up to her episode though. Shit, I want the live-tweet recap. Anyone out there, please?
Anyways, as the Urban Outfitted, hipster-hatted, sloppily face-painted season of outdoor festivals like Coachella loom heavy on the horizon...what better way to get in the spirit of what will surely be many an episode of Milllennials experimenting with drugs for the first time, than to take a ride to outer space with this chick, right?
Don't do drugs or you could turn into a building supply. At least that's what happened to a bunch of these Redditors.
Describing their salvia trips, it became clear to many on Reddit that turning into a piece of wood is a shared experience among people who have taken the drug, which is weird and scary. But who wouldn't want to be a piece of wood in this economy. You always need wood.
