drugs

Don't do drugs. Just laugh at all the crazy things that can happen and the punny and trippy jokes they lead to. From a distance is best.

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Tumblr Thread: The Finnish Soldier Who Amphetamined His Way Home

Back in the old days, some governments threw a few amphetamines into their soldiers' supply kits. This guy might be one of the reasons why they don't do that anymore. Here are some more historical moments that sound too ridiculous to be true as well as a Tumblr thread about history that's actually fun.

Tumblr history thread about soldier who got home with amphetamines | MAA misteryada Those are eyes man who has seen god and laughed
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Tumblr Thread: What Exactly Han Solo Was Smuggling

With a lot of additions to the Star Wars universe, and the directive that Star Wars should be okay for kids, there was some internal confusion over what "spice" is or does. That is of course until a certain writer had a hilariously direct conversation with George Lucas. People have made some other very humorous and poignant observations on Star Wars, like how Darth Vader is so extra, or this Star Wars fan calling out people's complaints. And for good measure here's a twitter thread on how different Star Wars characters take their coffee.

Funny Tumblr Thread on the Spice that Han Solo was smuggling | vanyaliful S novasstillintheair Follow prokopetz Follow know Star Wars extended universe treats "spice" like 's this big scary drug, but kind like imagine s basically just space weed, and only reason Han got trouble with Imperials over Jabba's cargo is he evading import tariffs. alexanderrm Follow If just looking at mentions original trilogy, is there evidence 's even drug and not something put on bland food make taste like something
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Twitter Thread: Gremlin Kitten Snarfs Weed Cookie

This just got funnier and funnier. Twitter user @Carmine_Deville shared a Twitter thread about what followed after her gremlin cat snarfed down a weed cookie. You better believe all kinds of chaos and internal mental crises were encountered. Fortunately, the gremlin was just fine in the end!

Woman's cat accidentally eats weed cookie, and the Twitter thread that follows | My horrible gremlin kitten snarfed an entire weed cookie and got violently high other day thread. Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi 14h Replying Carmine_Deville Firstly wanna preface this by saying she's fine, because this cat is an indestructible Dumpster Demon TM with stomach steel. Her father raccoon and her mother ate and shat nails. She'd fight god half stale bagel and win. 1 Carmine Deville @Carmine_Devi
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Guy Sees "Cats" On Shrooms, Has A Bad Time

Why on earth would somebody do this to themselves. This guy decided to dive down the rabbit's hole of taking some mushrooms, and then making his universe all the more chaotic and confusing by going and seeing "Cats." Just in case you missed it, the movie is getting all the funny reviews for being a ridiculous mess of a film.  

Guy goes and sees "Cats" movie on shrooms and ends up having a terrible time | tweet by Rob Sheridan T-minus 30 minutes. Things are getting weird. Not really sure strong these mushrooms are so just guessed. My Mom took see touring production cats kid and all remember is HATED long into film will last before have panic atttack
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Is this good or bad marketing? Does anyone even know anymore? On the one hand, it's an utterly ridiculous slogan. On the other hand, it sure seems to be getting the word out.

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The Very Fast Story of The First Soldier To Take Way Too Many Military Grade Amphetamines

Correction and clarification here, he didn't go on a killing rampage or really terrorize the soviets, but our boy did do the rest of that shit. According to Wikipedia, Aimo Koivunen found it too difficult to undo one tablet with his gloves, so he just took them all. Bad idea. The resulting few weeks are inadvisable for any human being to put themselves through. And while none of this is advisable or good, it is really damn interesting. Tumblr has a way of making history fun.

Tumblr history of Finnish soldier who took too many emergency amphetamines and went on a rampage.
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Seems like a pretty sweet gig. At first the job sounds easy, but then you remember he's working for Snoop Dogg. That salaried blunt roller is probably rolling his fingers to the bone.

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Stupid Design Screw-Ups of The Human Body

The human body is an amazing thing. It can heal itself, think really good, and it's one of the most persistent biological machines out there. Seriously, we run down our prey not with speed but with sheer willpower. That said, there are some definite design flaws in the human body that have caused a lot of us some major problems. The fact that one trip can send you to the hospital, or that choking is a thing. Anyway, here are some flaws people pointed out, as well as some possible improvements.

People share design flaws of the human body.
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Guy Tripping On Ketamine Ends Up In Room Alone With Boss

Twitter user @shockproofbeats, lived down a true waking nightmare. His story is one for the ages, and revolves around him thinking that he'd had the day off, but ends up getting called into work after having consumed some suspect, milky green powder that was actually ketamine. 

Fortunately, the tripped out and anxious enthusiasm brought on by the drugs he consumed with reckless abandon shortly before being summoned into work, came across as nothing more than overwhelming excitement. Crisis averted, and what a story this guy got out of it. 

Guy shares Twitter thread about the time he ended up in a room alone with his boss, while he was tripping out.
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Guy Takes Nuclear Revenge On Scumbag Catfish Thief

Cletus got what was coming to him. This one has all the makings of a well-executed nuclear revenge story. These guys played the scumbag catfish thief for all that he was worth, and he didn't even know what hit him when it came down to it. 

Guy and his buddy take nuclear revenge on catfish thief.
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Dad Shows Son Anti-Drug Campaign From The 90s

This dad was trying to show his son an anti-drug campaign video from the 90s, and it backfired terribly. Specifically, his younger daughter overheard the campaign, and ended up thinking that "eggs" were a suitable synonym for "drugs." So, she heads into school and the next thing you know she's telling the teacher that she had drugs for breakfast! 

Dad shows his son an anti-drug campaign from the 90s, and his daughter overhears part of it; and thinks that eggs are a synonym for drugs.
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Via steveo
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Steve-O was and always will be the definition of an absolute savage. 

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Musician Tells Story of a Fan Who Rode a Stolen Horse To A Party with Photo Evidence

Not sure what the takeaway here is, but this is some straight up cowboy shit. I guess for starters, don't steal horses. Honestly, if you don't know what you're doing, don't even get close to horses. And if the cops stop you riding a horse that's not yours while you're under the influence, we don't really even know what could happen to you. Can they tell if it's a hot horse? Can you get a horse DUI? We just know cops can enforce some real stupid laws if you're being a real asshole.

Musician recounts story of a fan who rode a horse to a house party and took a photo.
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24 Medical Professionals Share the Most WTF Things Patients Denied

Doctors, nurses and technicians see some wild crap every day. It's not just all the injuries, it's the stupid things people are too embarrassed to mention. In case you were wondering, it's a bad idea to lie to a doctor. For more, here are some times medical professionals saw right through lying patients.

askreddit, wtf moments, medical professionals,
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After this dude got his wisdom teeth pulled, his dad was left explaining to him what his life was like. He seems pretty excited about his situation. If only we could all be so enthusiastic about our lives every time we woke up.