Criminally Dumb Criminal

This guy just introduced a new and pure genius way to potentially get out of having to deal with a speeding ticket. Who could've known that fart spray would be so clutch 

Someone on AskReddit asked for people to share the worst defenses they'd seen made in court. The resulting insights offer rare glimpses at some criminally dumb criminals. These people were nowhere near ready for court, and their "defenses" speak volumes to that. 

When this guy's ex-girlfriend shafted him out of hundreds of dollars, he ended up going on to report her for tax fraud, and left her liable for thousands more. A revenge well done if we do say so ourselves. 

People are revealing what the "black market" was when they were in school. We've got stories as confusing as an actual "acorns black market", to the more criminal and sketchy black markets that apparently involved illicit substances. 

Let's never forget the time that a frat party at American University in Maryland got shut down for being absolutely insane, with an alleged indoor air that gave off a reading of .01 on the breathalyzer. You've gotta be kidding me. 

A recent AskReddit thread has divorce lawyers, people that know divorce lawyers, and other people that have had their time in the court of law, sharing the most screwed they've ever seen someone in court. The stupidity runs strong in these cases of criminally dumb criminals. That and a little bit of heartlessness. 

These criminals went full stupid. It's almost like some part of them wanted to get arrested. We'd speculate further on what they could've been thinking, but it seems glaringly evident that there is a serious lack of brain activity. If you're looking for more police-fueled drama fails, check out 20+ times police officers accidentally grabbed the wrong person.  

These people are ready to confess about lying under oath now...