condoms

Well, it's come to this a the world's first Smart Condom.

Now before you go slapping thing on your little dickie, you should know that this isn't really a condom, so much as a FitBit for your wiener. It is a ring that slides over your condom and tracks your thrust velocity, calories, burned, the amount of times you had sex, your girth, and can even detect chlamydia and syphilis — perhaps the only two useful things it does. This does not, I repeat does not, act as an actual birth control measure. It's just gamifies your sex life. 

Amazing. pic.twitter.com/xBmUU6z223

— k. (@OhKayByeeee) March 2, 2017

People are on the fence about this thing, but they definitely like making fun of it.

We're a real classy organization here at Fail Blog. We wear tuxedos, monocles, top hats, etc. I drink a martini, for crying out loud. So if you think we're going to post a bunch of tweets or people playing with condoms, you've got another thing coming. 

Just kidding! Had you going for a minute there. Enjoy the condom stuff!