Hey I think your cell phone is buzzing. These cellular puns will have you dialing for more in no time.
"I have a good cellphone with all these neat features, but I couldn't find a cheap bike mount for it, so I decided to build one of my own! I've just used cardboard, a lot of black extra strong gaffer tape, about ½ meter (~1' 8") of velcro and a piece of sponge that sits on the back, between the handlebar and the bike mount as a shock absorber."
"Because some stupid person decided to steal the radio and navigation out of my car, I made a cell phone holder out of a pizza box."
Ha! Checkmate, thieves! Now it sucks too much for you to steal!
Now when you read your kid's text messages, you'll know when it's appropriate to cry about your lost child.
Ugh. Just looking at this kid reminds me of that awful, mid-2000s music movement know as "screamo." The genre known for whiney little suburban teens crying about their Playstations and rejected love letters.