australia

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This guy must've had a serious reality trip after winning yet another scratch ticket during the reenactment. 

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The Many Nopes of Australia

Australia is a land of beauty, wonder, bird eating spiders, venomous snakes, hundred pound lizards, and straight up balls of scary looking goo that's ready to kill you at any gleeful opportunity. There are a lot of things to avoid in Australia, and it's a running gag on the internet of how dangerously nope-tastic the whole continent can be.

Big and scary animals and things from Australia.
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Twitter Reacts To News of Massive Bull Semen Explosion

If the headline wasn't already obvious, a fire at a breeding facility in Australia resulted in an eruption of genetic material as well as a whole bunch of surprised firefighters. Apparently the heat from the fire made the cryogenic cylinders explode, popping the lids off and making the place extra dangerous. Twitter had some words about the news.

Twitter makes jokes about bull semen explosion.
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Colin goes ahead and explains that the outbreak of lung disease is apparently not due to people smoking nicotine products, but actually from people vaping contaminants in black market THC oils. 

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Xbox Released Its Own Body Wash and People Had Jokes

Does it smell like an Xbox? Does it smell like a person who plays Xbox? Why do you need to smell like Xbox? Anyway if you go to Australia you can find out, but who the hell would pay real actual money to smell like Xbox branded soap?

xbox twitter
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Father's Day Gift In Australia Goes Hilariously Wrong

Just cause this Father's Day gift out of Australia went hilariously wrong doesn't mean that the story doesn't end with a sweet and satisfying finish. Yes, justice is served. And justice in this case looks like someone getting their money back, WITH INTEREST. Can we also dwell on how demonically possessed that strange little dog tag looks? What the hell happened, man...

fathers day FAIL cringe Awkward australia gift ridiculous - 8486149
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Via micajoeh
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You're just cruising along a dark road and a little fuzzy dude hops out of the darkness. You think "oh, it's just a kangaroo, it'll probably just stand there peacefully." You are wrong.

Love this driver though, right?

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Funny Tumblr Post About Australia Evolves Into Rosetta Stone For One Language

Culture yourself like never before with this makeshift Rosetta Stone for Australia. Hell we might as well start calling this, How To Speak Australian 101. 

australian dictionary
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Angry Kidnapper Politician Gets Dragged By Australians On Twitter Over His Insane Incident

Australian far-right candidate, Mark Ellis, got brutally dragged on Twitter for a 30-year-old incident he seemed stubbornly adamant about not addressing. My dude, that is the worst thing to do on a platform like Twitter. The more you try to redirect the attention being given to something, the longer and harder users will stare at it. In this case, the "incident" and its unbelievable crudeness speaks for itself. 

twitter australia ridiculous illegal kidnapping politics - 7856645
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Arturo the Tapir is living his BEST LIFE. Seriously, this adorable video is so full of lovably awkward cuteness it's bound to thaw the iciest of hearts out there. Look at that snout wiggle. 

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So we take it that this is like a regular problem for Australians? At least it seems like a koala sneaking into your car is better than big-ass spiders, which also happens. We like it when this little guy tries to figure out what a window is.

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Entitled Woman Threatens Media Exposure If She Can't Get Secondhand Desk Fixed for Free

Well, here's some exposure for her. We're not sure what Channel 9 Australia's Ray Hadley can do to make a warranty un-expire, but the ride sure does devolve into some pretty wonderful name-calling. For some more excellent desk-related drama, check this rude dude out.

woman freaks out at a store
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