wig

You've got enough colors of thread here to make like, three or four equally bad weaves all on your own. Way to be!

Is that a poodle on your head?

...because young people never know how to dress anyway. Seriously, when you're that old you can wear suits and look like a BAMF instead of looking like you're wearing your parent's clothes. Enjoy it now that you can.

If so, it's horrible and I hope a real werewolf eats you.

Help! Help! Somebody ate my sister and took her clothes!

Being a white kid in America sucks, so I need some kind of escape from the hardships I endure.

This guy has lost more than his sheep.

Then again, maybe this is just rare documentation of a hair-growing mutation that I'm not aware of. Call the X-Men!

Is that Mimi from The Drew Carey Show?

Hi, my name is Charlene, are you looking for a date? How about a really good phone plan. Only 55 bucks a month.

Cash Rules Every Hair Around Me, C.R.E.H.A.M. Represent.

This must be a recalled McDonald's character.

It appears everybody else remembered their cotton candy wigs, sir!