whoops

I mean like, so excited that you could barely contain yourself? Like, you're just overflowing with feelings of anticipation? Like you can barely hold yourself in? Yeah, it's a pretty great feeling.

Doesn't he know that it's practically summer vacation by now?

And by "better you feel" you mean "after you plant your face on the ground"?

I hate it when I forget the roll of frozen dough in the car like that...

Not pictured: "Hott Stuffz," "Melts In Your Mouth," "Moped," "Toot it and Boot It," and "Ohio State Rodeo Champion 1998."

I've always been something of a "floating bone" person myself.

Oh, and beefing it. Lots and lots and lots of beefing it.

On second thought, how about hats? Do you like hats? I LOVE hats.

Or at least, why I stopped shaving at the all-beige outlet mall.

Nah, I mean E.T. was over twenty years ago, we can joke about it now.

Any chance we can get that camel-toe underwear to work for men?

Don't worry, you can take that bracelet back eventually!

Remember people: The answer is always another slice of pizza.

I mean, not for three weeks of the month, at least.