tan

I know you were upset about losing the Old Spice competition, but that's no reason to take it out on your body!

"Extra Crispy" is the one holding the camera, for the record.

Using an intense mathematical algorithm, we can now determine your shirt size using only the ratios available to us in your burned and un-burned skin!

Wait, no, that doesn't make sense. OH GOD WHAT AM I LOOKING AT.

They say the contrast between teal and orange makes the subject appear more vibrant and emotive. I'll let you take a look at these bronzed knuckle-heads and determine that for yourself.

Tans: young or old, they still look terrible if you do it wrong.

Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like this.

The guidette uses its bright coloring to attract mates, and its shiny bronze sheen to avoid contact with incoming semi-trucks on local highways.