tan

The guidette uses its bright coloring to attract mates, and its shiny bronze sheen to avoid contact with incoming semi-trucks on local highways.

Because savage gorilla beasts have tested more strongly among male focus groups than puppies.

They say the contrast between teal and orange makes the subject appear more vibrant and emotive. I'll let you take a look at these bronzed knuckle-heads and determine that for yourself.

Man, do these MTV bros even lift?

Every time I put up a picture of a bodybuilder with a really gross fake tan, at least a couple people always say "But they have to have that tan for the show. It's the only way the lights will shine on them properly." Well, here's a picture of some pre-show models applying said tan before an amateur bodybuilding tournament in Krasnoyarsk, Russia. Even in context, though, it doesn't make me feel any less weird about it.

Not the best place to work on your tan...

In some cultures, the sudden onset of wound-like patterns on the skin of the top of the feet is called "Croc-mata."

Tans: young or old, they still look terrible if you do it wrong.