sandals

Having serious moobs doesn't mean you are poorly dressed (unless you're not wearing a shirt, which would make him poorly UNdressed).

Please do not wear sandals with these socks-with-sandals socks, or the universe may implode.

When your cup is overflowing you don't need free refills.

Just in case you need to saddle up and ride some seahorses when you go to the beach.

... to make them worse than Uggs.

Shiver me sandals!