mullet

Don't touch it, its tentacles will sting you.

Some form of tentacle monster has attached itself to that man's head.

...or maybe a lesbradoodle

They can take your liberty, they can take your freedom, but they will never take your hair.

"Our troops amass on the field at dawn. Today we ride into battle, our tempered courage only matched by our cold steel." "Who do we face today, who dares stands against our might? Surely none can match us in armed combat." "Today, we face the one they call... Bryan." "Gods have mercy on us all."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkyV3izXI&feature=player_detailpage