lingerie

Can we just go back to the vanilla sexy-times please?

It takes work.

This is why we don't dig into mom and dad's private photo albums.

A list of our grievances with your Etsy listing:

1. It's obvious you love your body, and that's great, especially after it's been through at least one pregnancy and labor. But you're on a site for selling handmade craft products, not your body, so please consider that before you point the camera directly at the cavernous maw between your widely spread legs.

2. You're modelling the same string bikini you're selling? Anyone who even considers buying it will have to take into account that it's already been used as your own personal butthole floss.

3. Of all the parts of your body, those areas are the WORST to get wool-induced itchiness and rashes.

4. NINETY-FIVE DOLLARS??!!?!??!????? (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)

Nice gams, Carl!

I spend extra money on the drawstring bags and this is what you use them for? Thanks for nothing, dude.

Otherwise, you run the risk of looking like this.

But who will protect your eyes?

Urkel sure does have some odd hobbies.

Go directly to undie jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars.