goth

Quick, somebody rescue those cute stuffed animals from the background before Neil the Barbarian cleaves them in twain!

They are definitely not survivors. Picking up and moving on isn't something that people dressed in black lace tend to do, traditionally.

That's just... maSCARY. Am I right?

crickets

Guys?

'I'm a human pet': The Goth teenager whose fiance walks her around on a dog leash.

I hope so. Whether you're on Team Jacob or Team Edward, I'm sure you could use a little more blood running around your brain.

DATING - PERSONALS:

"Totally cute and awesome goth chick looking for elder-statesmen straight-shooter who is totally only into goth chicks for NSA fun-times. Must be partially bald and otherwise physically unfit. No scammers or frauds."

Printed in: "The Daily WILL NEVER EXIST," Vol. X Issue: IN YOUR DREAMS.

I see those all the time!

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bM02KRpjW9w/SwyoxOyOCUI/AAAAAAAALhk/KDOzHs4Q5Ho/s400/wonderman001.gif