fat

... I mean fattest.

The only way he's going to put his hand underneath her is if she's playing center.

And clearly you both needed some more sunscreen. Let that molting skin be a reminder that we didn't come to the Pearl Jam concert to see this.

Can she bring her leg back down?

Remember people: The answer is always another slice of pizza.

On the bottom here we have your standard-issue "stocky guy," and up top we have "out of shape dad." I have a feeling you'll be pleased with this hybrid model of beach bod!

She'd probably go at it for a burger too.

Are those... zebra stripes?