best of week

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Colonial Medical Assisted Devices would have you believe that their deodorizing pads will help you with your gas leaks. All we know is that it'll definitely look like you have some extra junk in your behind - if you know what we're getting at.

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UGH I CAN FEEL IT CRAWLING AND I'M JUST LOOKING AT A COMPUTER MONITOR WHAT IS GOING ON.

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You don't want to know where the Eye of Sauron is. Or maybe you do. But that's not until the third date.

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Alright, we'll let the typo slide for the idea of vajayjay nightmares (known by sheepish male internet trolls as "Regular Nightmares").