Bling

I'm sure it was originally meant to cover his hair but probably spiraled out of control from there.

Why not just put the smartphone in the pocket itself?

I mean, I really needed to press my diamond-encrusted shirt, dude.

This must have been Ariel's supportive gay best friend from the deleted scenes of The Little Mermaid. Coming to you soon on Blu-Ray. Right before it plays in every 3D theater ever.

My bling ain't no thing.

This lap won't sit on itself, ladies.

It still wouldn't look this tacky!