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A pregnant woman in Nanchang, China was in an internet cafe when she gave birth to a baby. She was waiting for her boyfriend to meet her. Some patrons called an ambulance and wrapped the baby in cloth. Meanwhile she continued to play her game until she and the baby were taken to the hospital to be met with her boyfriend and family. Who knows why she kept playing during and after such a dramatic life event, maybe she had to get to the next checkpoint before she could save? 

Worth spending all that time or not, they are definitely keeping their father away from any shreddable values.

I had the same the ambitions when I was 15... er, uh... 5.

"I shot through the hamper he was carrying. It went straight through the back of his leg. He started crying like a little baby."

Allegedly the girl hatched a revenge plot to murder her mother after her iPhone was taken away. That sentence is a real event and not something we pulled from a psychology case study on sociopathy.

Boulder County police arrested the tween after her mother reported her for the second poisoning incident. The first, when the child poured bleach into her mother's smoothie, which mom was able to detect by smell (and here we thought it was the pricepoint of a Vitamix that would kill you ZING).

Then she tried the same stunt with a carafe of water that her mother kept in her bedroom. This is probably the ballsiest move in the entire story, because seriously who tries the same matricidal nonsense twice? That's just poor form, Olivia (in the story I am assuming the child's name is Olivia because they're all named Olivia, run with me here).

To conclude, another case of pre-teen case of severe empathy lack solved by the power of a mom who won't take any nonsnse... and maybe a little help from Mr. Yuck.

10 year-old Alyssa De Le Sala received an outpouring of support when she decided to start a lemonade stand to help her family rebuild their home. The family's house was destroyed by a fire two years ago and the contractors they paid to rebuild it never finished the work. She wanted to do something nice for her parents to help finish the home so she started a lemonade stand on her own to raise money.

But I'm your mom and your grandma.

His apparently-laden interview went viral; apparently, he knows the word because he "went to school and has a large brain."