Stepdad: When I die, have me cremated. Then, put my ashes in the compost. Me: Why would we put you in the compost? Stepdad: So you can put it on the vegetables and eat me! Mom: No! I'm not eating you! Not when you're dead anyway. Me: o.o
Oh sorry, I thought you were my mom acting like a b*tch, refusing to stop cleaning the carpet to make me a sandwich. Sheesh!
"I told my mother I was to come home end of July, I came home a month early for a surprise."
