food

Me: It'd be boring being a rich farmer (we're on a seriously long drive) Mum: I suppose. They go round everywhere shooting peasants. Me and 2 brothers: *pokerfaces* Me: Mum, you mean pheasants. Mom: Oh, yeah. Those too. Peasants are tastier, I think. whole family: O.o :L

Me (7 Year old): Mom, what if aliens landed in the back yard, ate all our food, and left? Dad: Sounds like our relatives. Mom: (Glares at dad)

(My mom, while looking at the price of caviar this year.) Mom: WHAT?! you can get COCAINE cheaper than this!

(My mom had just gone into the freezer for the 5th time in the last hour to get a cup of ice.) Dad: Hey! If you keep doing that, you'll get addicted to the ice. From there, you'll move on to snow... Then you'll hit the hard stuff, like sleet. Me: And hail after that? Dad: Oh god... let's not go down that road...

Me: I gotta go, I'm late. Dad: Wait! Wait! Don't go yet! (holding a round plate with a sausage patty on top of a round waffle) MY BREAKFAST IS CONCENTRIC!