Thinking about your drinking?
Dad: Your mom has been feeling kinda old lately. Can you take her out, and show her a good time? Me: You mean get her drunk? Dad: Yeah. Me: Done.
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(Little brother picks up mom's wine glass from the counter): Uncle Ralph: DON'T DRINK THAT! (Takes it away.) Me: Good job! Uncle Ralph: (Returns with can of beer) This is a MAN'S drink! Chug it!
I'd rather do shots than be shot, thanks.
