Kill It With Fire

Nothing more can be done, time to torch the place down and call it a day.

It seems like only two weeks ago a Kansas woman set her home on fire trying to deal with the ever-present spider menace. Well, the same thing has just happened with a Seattle man. From Komo News:

A man who lived at the home told fire officials he was trying to kill a spider in his laundry room using a can of spray paint and a lighter when the wall caught fire, according to Kyle Moore with the Seattle Fire Department. The man wasn't able to put the fire out himself, and he left the home when it began to spread.

Somewhere out there is a spider with burn wounds and a taste for vengeance. Congratulations, Seattle man, you've created the first spider super villain.

For maximum effect, have this playing in the background.

WARNING: SERIOUSLY A TON OF SPIDERS (OR MAYBE DADDY LONGLEGS WHO KNOWS WE CLOSED THE VIDEO TOO QUICKLY). YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

He should change his license plate to just say NOPE.

This massive spider could not have found a more inconvenient place to hang out, aside from on your face.

“Nothing worse than opening your car door and feeling something furry!” writes the uploader in the caption.

They found him just chilling beneath the handle, presumably when they stuck their hand up there to open it.

“It’s a bloody super spider,” he says. “Oh jesus!”

Fortunately, for everyone involved, it eventually plops down and scurries away.