twitter

Not sure if drunk guy or clever marketing ploy to appeal to millennials...

Who kkmew theis was ghiong tob e a baweball ghamle. #lowsscorinh 5_0

— JCPenney (@jcpenney) February 2, 2014

Maybe these mittens are the culprit!

We're ready for the big game no matter the temp. Staying warm thanks to #TeamUSA mittens! http://t.co/xzB8FLljox pic.twitter.com/pqocEbkC9K

— JCPenney (@jcpenney) February 2, 2014

"Yo 'sup fellow youth, feels good to finally be on this Tweetbook thing."

Is this some super-secret conservative code? A fictional, Tolkien-esque language? Is she tweeting in tongues? No one knows for sure. What we DO know is that this is the most intelligent thing she's ever said.

Getting lost? Here's a handy guide that explains the whole thing!

I'm into all kinds of kinky stuff, bebbeh.