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15 Tweets About Being Single That Showcase the Benefits of the Forever Alone Lifestyle

Ever heard that little cringe-coated nugget of wisdom that goes something like, 'in order to love someone else, you must first love yourself?' Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've heard that shit while in the throes of bachelorhood like it's on a broken record. Usually imparted upon to me by older, 'wiser', well-intentioned folk. But dude. What if you just really, really love yourself; and the 'Man Cave' that you've carved out as your sanctuary is too perfected to not stay steady with? Ya know?

forever alone relationship tweets dating - 1414917
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twitter Amanda Bynes chris brown rihanna tweets failbook - 7510572800
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Wow. Amanda, get it together. Seriously.

Even though Bynes deleted the tweet within two minutes of posting it, Rihanna got wind of it anyway. Zing!

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Weekly Treats: Animal Tweets (August 30th, 2020)

Weekly order of fresh animal tweets coming right up! There's absolutely no better way to start your week without the combination of new animal tweets and our wholesome memes.

Between the two, you'll have enough cuteness and funnies to hopefully see you through the week in one piece. 

Your weekly treat is cooked to perfection this week, but if you're in the mood for one-week-old stale treats (that are still edible and quite delicious) look no further! 

animal tweets funny lol animals aww cute wholesome cats dogs humor twitter | Sean Brewster @TheSeanBrewster Today Zoom class my professor casually mentioned her cat and one brave student spoke up Everyone: show cat Everw 8:58 PM 8/24/20 Twitter iPhone
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Clever Tweets About Professor X & Questionable Superpowers

As a kid, I often fantasized about having a superpower. It's true that I may have spent too much time with my older (and male) cousin, but the idea of being "special" like one of Professor X's mutant wards was an attractive fantasy. Judging by the popularity of X-Men, I probably wasn't alone in my yearning. The comics and movies, however, have done more than allow people to escape reality via superhero material. Over the last year the X-Men have inspired some seriously clever memes on Twitter - something that's a bit more relevant to our adult (and extremely online) tastes. 

The memes generally follow the format of Professor X asking about a person's superpowers. The jokes riff on some pretty unimpressive skills or mutations, and the clever jokes unfold from there. While many of these are a bit less than fresh, the format has been seeing a comeback over the last month. We hope to see more of this smart humor, but in the meantime, we've rounded up some of our favorite examples of the meme. Maybe that's our superpower. 

Funny tweets about X-men and superpowers, professor x, weird twitter, twitter meme | Beans After Dark @goodbeanalt Professor X: what's your super power? Me: impersonation Professor X: oh really? Professor X: yes Spooky Skoog @Skoog Professor X: what's your power? Me: super strength Professor X: that's great Me: but only when i'm really horny Professor X: oh? Me: [stares him directly in the eye while i lift an entire bookcase] Professor X: oh..
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Edinburgh Zoo Hilariously Shuts Down Rumor of 'Penguin Erector' Job

Recently a tweet went viral. The tweet basically suggested that someone had stated that they were an Edinburgh Zoo employee and a "penguin erector". The job was to pick up penguins who fell over after looking up at planes passing by. Sounds like the best job!! However, the Zoo made it a point to sadly shut down that rumor mill... 

Scottish zoo in Edinburgh shuts down rumor that they have a penguin erector job
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