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These People Are Determined to Get Half An Onion More Followers on Twitter Than The Real Donald Trump

Leave it to 2017 to take it a step further from the days of 2016 when flocks of folks turned up at voting stalls to send their nominations in for Harambe. Yes, that happened, but apparently that wasn't enough. We need to dive deeper down the shit-coated rabbit's hole, and find a way make sure we give an onion the proper podium to express its multi-layered beliefs from. The kind of mass media movement that can bring hot tears to your eyes, huh?

an onion gets more followers than donald trump
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This election year's been nothing if not an insane circus of maddening comical absurdity, and largely thanks to The Donald. This right here though, might be the only Twitter account you'll ever have to follow (ever again...) to get your political fixins.


Via: DungeonsandDonalds


Via: 
DungeonsandDonalds


Via: DungeonsandDonalds


Via: DungeonsandDonalds


Via: DungeonsandDonalds


Via: DungeonsandDonalds

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The Internet Is Scrambling to Figure out What a Mazel Tov Cocktail Is

A surrogate for Donald Trump went on CNN to talk about the imagery in a Jay Z video. It sounds like a great video, people were throwing "Mazel Tov Cocktails" around, according to Scottie Nell Hughes. This left the people of the internet asking, "What exactly is a Mazel Tov Cocktail, and can I have the recipe?"

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Donald Trump Said "7-11" When Talking About "9/11" and the Internet Response Did Not Disappoint

Donald Trump was speaking in Buffalo, New York when he referenced September 11, 2001, as you do when you are an American politician. Instead of saying "9/11" though, he accidentally said "7-11". If you thought the internet was just going to let that one go, you were wrong.

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Here we see Donald Trump breaking one of the core rules of the internet: "don't feed the trolls."

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People Imagine Donald Trump Narrating Planet Earth and It's Tremendous

Donald Trump has a particular way of talking and Twitter has put that to good use with #TrumpNarratesPlanetEarth

donald trump narrating a nature program
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What does it take to get you to vote? Is it civic duty? A profound belief in a candidate? Fear of another candidate?

For almost half the American population, none of these things matter because they don’t vote. In fact, only about 56 percent of Americans voted in 2008. There are no numbers on this, but it’s entirely reasonable to think that maybe more people say “Thanks, Obama” than voted for him.

So what does it take? Money? Would you like money out of a candidate's pocket? Well, that’s not gonna happen, buddy! This is America! We don’t pay for votes here, so take it some place else.

But what about those celebrity videos? Can Stanley Tucci get you to vote? 

via Save the Day

Sorry, Tucc. No. Celebrity videos where they guilt you into voting don’t work because they depend on the old theory of “rational self-interest,” i.e. the idea that people will vote based on heavily-reinforced social norms. People don’t operate based on “rational self interest,” do they? People say that they’re going to vote but, in many cases, don’t actually do it.  

Over on YouTube, The Nerdwriter found something that just might work: shame. That’s right, if shamed into it, people will vote. He offers some different methods for implementing the age-old practice of shame, like a thing on Facebook that says “I Voted” or, the Scarlett Letter of the digital age, “I Didn’t Vote.”

via Hardware Zone

Check out the video for some more facts about voter turnout. You will sound so smart next time the topic comes up if you do.