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Kids! While this may look like an attractive lifestyle, please don't drink before or during your S&M play. Sober mistresses are the best mistresses!

Come on bro, that's totally insensitive. You don't wear aviators during a breakup. Really.

He's so nice, he always lets her furnish first.

You can't want sex after getting coffee poured over your head. Unless you can. There's a fetish for everything.