dude parts

According to this Very Scientific and Completely Robust Study*, this is a chart ranking the average size of... uh... dude parts in the United States. High fives to the Dakotas, maybe there's something to those flyover states after all...

*Note: Study based on the frequency of online purchases of plus-sized condoms. So, you know, that doesn't really mean anything.

Amy Schumer’s joke is becoming a reality… sort of.

A new bar/restaurant called Tallywackers is coming to Dallas this May that will feature scantily clad men showing off their pecs, abs and bulges while you dine on your breasts (of chicken).

In case you were wondering, “tallywacker” is another word for penis, or as Urban Dictionary defines it “my gargantious third member.”

And if you think you have one and live in Texas, they’re hiring.

“Our main goal with Tallywackers is to create a fun and entertaining environment for anyone to enjoy,” the restaurant’s head of marketing Winston T. Lackey told Central Track. “That said, we understand that there will be some people who are uncomfortable here, just as there are women who are uncomfortable at Hooters.”

Lackey is apparently very good at his job too, with Tallywackers getting lots of national attention this week on numerous media sites. As of Friday it was also trending on Facebook.

While the restaurant is primarily targeting the gay community, they say, everyone is welcome.

And yes, they will serve hot dogs.