There are rumors floating around that there are approximately 150,000 condoms available in the Olympic Village. Apparently no one told Nick Symmonds where they were, although I imagine it'd be hard to miss a giant bowl of contraceptives.
The Ed Hardy clothing company, popularized by jackasses everywhere, has announced a line of condoms. These jimmy-jackets come in 5 "passionate" flavors guaranteed to have your date feeling like they settled.
And, rumor has it, that if you pop on that rocket-protector it while covered in Axe body spray, it opens up a magical portal to New Jersey.
Returning condoms shows a certain level of disappointment and finality don't you think? This guy could have easily saved them for another day, but no those unused wang wrappers were just a constant reminder of his sexual failures.
The condoms are so depressing he can't even have them in the house. 
WAS YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND A GIANT? He was a giant wasn't he. I KNEW IT.
