boyfriend

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This perverted, bane of the earth, depraved simeon is completely off his damn rocker. His head's clearly been shoved up his ass for such an extended period of time that he's come to terms with a self-created, shit-coated reality.

Not only does he blow things with his madly attractive girlfriend, but he also has strange incestual tendencies, and a sociopathic disregard for how to maintain common human decency. 

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What if The Avengers Were Your Significant Other?

There's a lot of people to date out there, and Dorkly is setting out to prove that you don't have to be a superhero, to be a super awkward partner. Beware, you may recognize some your exes below.

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