technology

Soon we'll ditch those boring handheld touchscreens and be able to play Angry Birds with our minds! For every level we complete, the iChip will flood our brains with dopamine! It'll be literally addicting! The government will have to regulate it! Maybe even ban it! We'll be forced to either turn to the black market or burn our iChips and go back to using pen and paper! The future!

Yep, that's what all the teen phones are doing these days. Dancing, calling each other "bro," and talking about their ancestors. Often at the same time.

Over 75% of attendees at the 1989 World Series were carrying phones. The rest, as they say, is history.