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He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Dated

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IT'S A PLOT TWIST!!!!!!11!!11!!1!!!!!!

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Know Your Fruit From Your Squash

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A Matter of Perspective

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When I'm Texting a Girl

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After a certain length of time, my anxiety level reaches critical mass and I just give up and text her "lol nm ttyl" before jumping off a bridge.

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The Answer Is No

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And One Is More User-Friendly

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What I'm Saying Is That I'd Punch Him in the Nuts

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The Last Straw

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Games Before Dames

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Sorry.

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Whoa, Baby, I'm Not Ready for That Kind of Commitment

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I'm not sure ANYTHING lasts as long as that.

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Give or Take

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Because Butts LOL

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Date Avoided

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From not taking the hint to propositioning with the word "bone." If he doesn't have herpes already, I'd be surprised.

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It's All in the Way You Ask

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Old-Fashioned Speech Is So Seasonal

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