relationships

People who text while driving: they're bad news.

Also, that's still the best commercial to come from that series of "tough guy in a suit represents an ultra-specific accident" ads.

In this analogy, the exploding bomb is the girl replying "Ewww, gross, you're a creepy schmuck and I award you two out of ten hottie points" and ignoring me. My bomb-ravaged body represents my self-esteem.

And when you're ready to move to the next step after pillow pets...

Don't forget the comma between "spelling" and "smart arse!" Or the incomplete ellipses after "arse!" Or the period between "spelling" and "what's!" And to capitalize "what's!" Or to end your sentences with a period or a question mark!

This is no doubt how the news was broken to Snooki. lololJersey Shore jokes.

All of which takes place in the span of .3 seconds.