relationships

Yeah baby, I'll keep you up all night. With my lolspeak and my emoji.

"Emoji" does sound pretty dirty.

There are several ways to interpret this answer. Choose your own adventure! Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Optimist: You can't subtract a woman from a man, because without his woman, a man is nothing.

Pessimist: Men and women are incompatible, will never get along, and both are doomed to stunted and unfulfilled relationships.

Okay, both are kinda pessimistic, but one is much more so.

Uh-oh! It looks like they've found more dirt on Herman Cain's sexual harassment cases.

FEELINGS. About EXES.

Crayons before mans. It's like "bros before hoes" except more relevant in this context. Oh god, what an awful title. #modproblems

That awkward moment when you realize you've been on The Bachelorette this whole time...

From the submitter:

I had a new phone number for several months, and it seemed to belong to a girl (probably hot). Then I received this.

Women attract, men mostly repel.

People who text while driving: they're bad news.

Also, that's still the best commercial to come from that series of "tough guy in a suit represents an ultra-specific accident" ads.