ipad

That's right, Wreckers: from now on, this site will be only consist of a series of two-part question-and-punchline jokes. A poor drawing of a trollface doing a rimshot will be added as if to say "IT'S A JOKE. YOU CAN LAUGH. DON'T BE AFRAID."

All welcome your new god.

Alt caption: buys moustache curler, uses the heat from the iPhone's energy-hemorrhaging battery to do the exact same thing.

You have to earn the right to use an iPad, which requires something that resembles common sense.

I also wish that Apple launched a merciless litigious assault on anyone who also tried to make a bulky iPhone that couldn't make calls.

So many things are wrong with this, depending on what kind of person you are.

Normal person: FAIL. The mom gets a housecleaning tool while everyone else gets fun toys. How sexist and unfair!

Tech geek: FAIL. An iron isn't wireless!

Grammar Nazi: FAIL. That's NOT the proper capitalization of "iron" afffghaghaghfahga so upset

Using only and iPad Air and a finger, artist Kyle Lambert painted an incredibly photorealistic image of Morgan Freeman in just over 200 hours.

Because the market for screwing even a hollow digital representation of a thing with breasts is strong enough, a Fleshlight iPad case holder is in development and will hit the adult toy shelves soon.

The above picture is only a concept mock-up, but it gives you the basic idea: a fake vagina for lonely people to play with while they look at real ones on-screen.

BRB, have to go look at cat pictures to purge all the grossness from my brain.

You're forgetting iMac!