friends

From the submitter:

I was afraid to ask anyone else

Maybe you could go back in time and text Hitler's grandson. You've been given a terrible curse, but it could also be a great gift. With great power comes great responsibility etc. etc.

And even if you do have friends, it only tells you how much fun they're having without you.

It's official: "douche canoe" is now mainstream.

True, but the bard said a lot of strange things...

Fun fact! This harrowing reaction image is also the face of a woman who, along with her boyfriend, returned home from a shoplifting spree to find her house burgled. Judging by her expression, she couldn't handle the irony.

The eyes...

When a friend telling you another of their friends likes you turns awkward...

They must be pretty good friends, if they trust each other enough that one won't walk away with a basket of pilfered cell phones.