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cops drunk text blackout funny police - 8300775168
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Via Elite Daily:

A lot of people would be excited to discover they managed to get someone's number in the blackout state, but that doesn't apply when the number is from a "nice ploice man."

You normally don't want to wake up with a hangover and a message from the police, but this guy should be grateful things didn't turn out worse.
Harry Potter last night text - 4871824384
By Unknown
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But the magic wears off as soon as you land back on sobriety.

drunk fruit ninja phone sms text text message text msg texting txt msg vegetables - 6307275008
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Hey, at least there weren't any bombs involved!

For more 4G funny, check out Autocowrecks!

high Pirates of the Caribbean pot text - 4892803328
Via Imgur
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Especially the tell-tale period after "Actually." It's the pregnant pauses like that which separate the chilled, relaxed, and meditative stoned people from the rushed and frantic sober. Also because Pirates 4 was a terrible, terrible movie.