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This year alone, 29,500 individually designed beer labels have been submitted for approval to the Trade Department's Tax and Trade Bureau. And every single one of those label designs was approved or denied by a single man: Kent "Battle" Martin, a man who is the bane of the beer industry for his power to reject labels for the flimsiest of reasons.

Battle has rejected a beer label for the King of Hearts, which had a playing card image on it, because the heart implied that the beer would have a health benefit.

He rejected a beer label featuring a painting called The Conversion of Paula By Saint Jerome because its name, St. Paula's Liquid Wisdom, contained a medical claim--that the beer would grant wisdom.

He rejected a beer called Pickled Santa because Santa's eyes were too "googly" on the label, and labels cannot advertise the physical effects of alcohol. (A less googly-eyed Santa was later approved.)

He rejected a beer called Bad Elf because it featured an "Elf Warning," suggesting that elves not operate toy-making machinery while drinking the ale. The label was not approved on the grounds that the warning was confusing to consumers.

You're not doing it right dude. Kudos to Buffalo Bills fans though for helping this beer-soaked idiot out.

#billsmafia pic.twitter.com/8OWO0AImSi

— boxxa (@boxxa) January 3, 2016

Buffalo Bills fans this year have been ranked as the NFL's drunkest fans; and it seems like they're hellbent on one-upping the prior game's hysterical, purely irrational antics.

From this gnarly RKO awhile ago:

To this absolute depraved act of moonsaulting debauchery:

@Deadspin @espn @WORLDSTAR @buffalobills @TheBuffaloNews BUFFALO BILLS FANS ARE THE DRUNKEST FANS pic.twitter.com/A0nPwW1nxh

— Jeffery (@jumbojeffk) November 8, 2015

Stay safe out there Buffalo Bills fans!

Two drunken golf fans allegedly stole the pictured golf cart and drove it five miles down the road and onto local bar Selwyn Pub's patio according to sources from Total Frat Move. The source of the golf cart, Quail Hollow Country Club, is well known in Charlotte, NC for its party atmosphere during tournaments. A co-owner of the pub confirmed that, although they aren't sure how it got there, a Quail Hollow golf cart was indeed left on the patio of Selwyn Pub.  The drunk patrons/golf cart theives apparently abandoned the cart to be picked up by a country club representative the next morning and left the bar without being caught. 

The 40-year-old, named as Andreas O., left his silver VW Golf in a side-street, near a tram stop, before hurrying to get a tram to the Theresienwiese where the Oktoberfest is held.

But after a day of beer, roast ox and folk music, the factory worker realized he had forgotten the names of both the street and the tram stop – and had no idea where his vehicle could be.

Via BoingBoing:

No one is surprised that weed in Colorado is high in THC, but low in CBD (cannabidiol). It is, after all, a state where recreational use is legal. CBD is one of the compounds known to have medicinal properties.

Keeping the sordid reputation of Chicago politicians alive and not-so-well, Alderman Deborah Graham reportedly gave convicted drug dealer Frederick "Juicy" Sims great assistance in getting a huge monetary grant to open a liquor store in Chicago, according to Opposing Views on Tuesday, as well as an original report by the Chicago Tribune.

Sims, who previously gave Alderman Graham a $2,000 donation for her political campaign, received a six-figure public grant to open his liquor store. The grant involved a $105,000 tax increment in financing, which is beyond the fact that a ban on liquor businesses had to be lifted for Sims to open shop.

The Public Option is a new brewpub that will be open in Washington, DC by late summer or early fall. But according to the Washington City Paper, it will also be unique: it will ban customers from tipping and instead simply pay its workers a living wage.

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. - A man was arrested at a Murfreesboro bar Friday night for attempting to have sex with an ATM and later a picnic table.

According to the arrest report, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill on Greenland Drive and up to the ATM.

He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, and then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the ATM, the report stated.

The pipeline was discovered on the bed of the river Chu, which forms the border between the two countries. They suspect thousands of litres of pure spirit have passed through it. It is unclear how officials made the discovery, but a search is now on for the smugglers behind the pipeline.

Palcohol allows you to take your favorite drink and sprinkle it on whatever you like, for example rum powdered cookies. But, it's not all delicious ideas and treats as people, especially parents worried about kids getting ahold of the substance, are raising concern over the powdered adult beverage. Colorado has already banned sale of Palcohol. For the rest of the US, it should be available by summer time.