cops

"Hey cops! You gonna give me a double-DUI?"

And also, none of these young ladies have have any history of misdemeanors, so you can stop asking them "Did you commit a parking violation? Because you have fine written all over you."

Unless you're talking to some super troopers

That was wheelie stupid, buddy.

Via Elite Daily:

A lot of people would be excited to discover they managed to get someone's number in the blackout state, but that doesn't apply when the number is from a "nice ploice man."

You normally don't want to wake up with a hangover and a message from the police, but this guy should be grateful things didn't turn out worse.