cops

And also, none of these young ladies have have any history of misdemeanors, so you can stop asking them "Did you commit a parking violation? Because you have fine written all over you."

You wouldn't want to break your mother's back, would you? She's worked so hard to give you a comfortable life and a good education. I suppose if you wanted to be selfish and cruel, you could always break her back, even after all she's done for you. Not to mention the fact that you'd be ruining the sunrise for everyone everywhere if you did drugs. You don't want to be that guy, do you?

Think of all the nasty surprises that you can have after waking up from a night of drunkenness. I'd put this at about the third or fourth highest.

"Sir, stay calm! We have squad cars en route to Walmart to hook you up! Stay on the line!"