blackout

"I still have my shoes, I made out with some lipsticky chick and she missed a bunch of times, and I became a stripper because I have singles in my belt. Good times."

"Oh God, oh **, I'll fix that, and that too, and that, oh Jesus..."

Via Elite Daily:

A lot of people would be excited to discover they managed to get someone's number in the blackout state, but that doesn't apply when the number is from a "nice ploice man."

You normally don't want to wake up with a hangover and a message from the police, but this guy should be grateful things didn't turn out worse.

"Yeah, I was so wasted that I went down to the animal shelter and bought like 10 cats."

That's a thing, right? It better be!

... acquire far more comfortable alternative.

Seen as part of our "Art of the Intoxicated" exhibit.

Copyright, Metropolitan Museum of Art.