blackout

Based on the placement of the picture, and the absence of his right arm, it could very well be a self-shot.

Via Elite Daily:

A lot of people would be excited to discover they managed to get someone's number in the blackout state, but that doesn't apply when the number is from a "nice ploice man."

You normally don't want to wake up with a hangover and a message from the police, but this guy should be grateful things didn't turn out worse.

I was framed!

"I still have my shoes, I made out with some lipsticky chick and she missed a bunch of times, and I became a stripper because I have singles in my belt. Good times."

"Oh God, oh **, I'll fix that, and that too, and that, oh Jesus..."

"What do you mean 'don't leave you hanging?' ... Okay, who caved and told her what she did last night?"

I was just uhh... uhh... looking for a quarter I dropped! Right!

Three guesses which ones.

... that you became Salvador Dali?

And then there's "anywhere is possible."