McDonald's

"Sir, you do realize your car is on fire, right?"

"Oh yeah, and I'll also have an extra large Mind-Your-Own-Business!"

After work, he hangs out with his friends: Hardee, Carl Jr., and Dairy Queen.

"And make it quick, peasant, I don't even know what I'm doing here."

Ach, I've schpillt mein barbecue saus!

Multinational Corporate Crap Factory - 0.

Real talk, though: if their food wasn't free, McDonalds did it wrong.