I constantly hunger for a challenge. I have a very cann-do attitude. I am a team player, and have experience spearheading team projects.
"Then how did you get hired in the first place, sir?"
"Hmmm, candidate uses logic and is openly defiant of superiors. You're just shooting yourself in the foot now buddy... candidate also only has one functional foot..."
From the submitter:
"This "resume" was handed to me while I was working security. The spelling is awesome, but the lack of detail is even better. It was done on a typewriter, and the paper was torn by folding and wetting and tearing."
In 2011, Christopher Woodring applied for a job at DreamWorks. After a few weeks, he hadn't heard back from them, so he sent them this video. He was subsequently banned by DreamWorks from working for them in any capacity ever.