"It was all like, 'Installing Updates: 1 of 396 installed, please do not power off your computer,' and then I was like 'HELL NO!'"

"Great, and are there any ALT routes available?

He's using the computer as a paperweight.

Right now, I can't help but picture a little Scumbag Steve perched on the logos of all the printer ink companies out there.

Come on, smart-ass! Fix it if you're such a genius!

"And then he showed me his Wang!"

"Can you describe his Wang for us, Miss?"

"Yeah, it was big and bulky and looked like it weighed about 50 pounds."

"Wait, what?"

Itza beautiful!

A little snark never hurt anyone either.