A Detroit Area Pig Gets Arrested, Proceeds to Take a Colossal Dump in a Cop Car

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The pig had apparently been attacking a woman in her garden when she called the authorities to take care of it. They managed to subdue the animal (who had been distracted by a "decorative ball") and get it in their cop car. Then... well... this happened. 

A Man in China Gets Caught Eating You-Know-What From the Women's Restroom

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The man has reportedly gone into the women's room of a shopping center several times early in the morning to eat that butt stuff. Now, he's finally been caught by a news team. When asked about his behavior, he had this to say (courtesy of a translated interview from Shanghaiist):

Reporter: What’re you doing here?
Man: Eating s**t.
R: What? What’s in your hands?
M: It’s s**t.
R: Why would you want to do that?
M: I eat it when I’m hungry.
R: But why do you choose to go to the ladies’ room?
M: It’s more tasty.

Reporter: Isn’t your family worried about you?
Man: They’re all dead.
R: Don’t you know this behavior isn’t good or healthy?
M: I’ve eaten s**t for eight years. I feel better after eating it.

Someone Became the Literal Party Pooper at This Girl's Sweet 16

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As many have been quick to point out, the color of this birthday-destroying dookie indicates that it was maybe even human - perhaps from a passing plane. Either way, the cake suddenly seems a little less appealing now.

Boston Couple Wanted by Transit Police for Especially Lewd Conduct During Commute

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An unidentified Boston couple made an alarming pit stop during their commute on public transit. A passenger snapped this picture of the brazen subway sex act and sent it to the MBTA Transit Police on social media. The Transit Police are attempting to identify and arrest the couple. If they are found, they may be charged with open and gross lewdness which will require them to register as sex offenders and possible serve up to three years in prison.