The Most Florida Headline of the Day: This Woman Went on a Crack Binge, Gave Birth, and Gnawed off Her Own Umbilical Cord

Favorite
The Most Florida Headline of the Day: This Woman Went on a Crack Binge, Gave Birth, and Gnawed off Her Own Umbilical Cord
- -

There isn't much more that can be said other than that. I'll let the news piece speak for itself:

Vincent Terry, Hassell's boyfriend, left with the 11-month-old boy to run an errand, so Hassell delivered the baby alone in the bathtub. According to a Marion County Sheriff's Office report, Hassell even cut the umbilical cord with her teeth.

"At one point, according to her telling investigators, the baby stopped breathing," said Judge Cochran, public information officer for the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Hassell's first call wasn't to 911, though. It was to her boyfriend, who she told to hurry up and get back to the motel. But, as Terry sped to return, he was pulled over by Marion County deputies. He was wanted for attempted murder in Colorado.
Her other child, 11 months old, is in state custody. There are no words, people.

Florida Man to the Rescue!

Favorite
Florida Man to the Rescue!
- -

Florida Man is to superheroes what Billy Bob Thornton was to mall Santas. Seriously though, it seems like an inordinate number of crime news articles start with a male from the Sunshine State getting into some sort of legal trouble. Something in the oranges, perhaps? Regardless, here we see an enterprising Twitter user taking it upon himself to chronicle the misadventures of everyone's favorite alcoholic, drug-abusing, domestically violent, sociopathic, prankster/criminal/general numbskull out there. It's a burglary, it's a DUI, it's Florida Man!

WIN!: Turning the Table on the Robbers WIN

Favorite
- -

Well, that didn't quite turn out how they expected, did it? Get 'em gramps!

See more at WIN!