I know you were upset about losing the Old Spice competition, but that's no reason to take it out on your body!

The guidette uses its bright coloring to attract mates, and its shiny bronze sheen to avoid contact with incoming semi-trucks on local highways.

"Extra Crispy" is the one holding the camera, for the record.

Not the best place to work on your tan...

Because savage gorilla beasts have tested more strongly among male focus groups than puppies.