It's Just the Right Size, Honey

Favorite
condom,Hall of Fame,lingerie,please no,sexy times,what
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Please, come to the bed. It's warm and cozy here in the bed.

It'll Get Me To Stay Away From People Like This, Though

Favorite
dating,gross,pick-up line,sexy times,shirt
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You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!

Viva Well-Placed Clothing!

Favorite
au naturale,cinco de mayo,scarf,sexy times
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Happy Cinco De Mayo! Get your party on over at After 12!

Why Ruin a Perfectly Good Shirt With Sharpie?

Favorite
bro,play boy,player,sexy times,sharpie
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He's being quite literal here, "Boy who plays in the dirt and gets himself dirty" wouldn't fit on the shirt.

Of These Things I Was Sure...

Favorite
edward cullen,Hall of Fame,oh god why,poorly dressed,sexy times,twilight,vampire
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Edward Cullen was a vampire, and I would soon be jumping off of the nearest bridge I could find after realizing this exists.