Me: so my friends and I decided that for senior ditch day we wanted to go visit a couple museums.
Step-mom:Museums? Why can't you be a normal teenager and go get drunk or smoke pot?
Me: What?! no! Dad! Are you hearing this? I want to do something intellectual!
Dad: *shaking his head* Where did I go wrong?
(Dad discussing if table center piece at the Japanese restaurant was edible or not.)
Dad: At first I thought it might be plastic. So I broke off a piece and ate it. My rule is if you can break it, you can eat it.
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