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When I was 8 and dad was tucking me into bed...
Me: Dad is mom coming up to tuck me in?
Dad: No, the ghosts got her. Night Night.
Better start running, Jim.
Me to my Dad, who's sitting on the couch with my cat: You two are exactly alike. You both spend all day on the couch unless you want something to eat.
Dad, after a pause, looks at the cat: I think she's talking to you.
(Mom had left for a business trip and it was just dad and I by ourselves)
Dad: So, you wanna get some hookers and blow?
Me: Seriously, Dad?
Dad: Fine... how about some pot? Do you know anyone? Or shrooms, 'cause that'll be cool too. Or both... at the same time!
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