...but his parents have just been letting him watch too many terrible sitcoms.
Me: *answers* This is road kill cafe you kill we grill it, this is Sam speaking!
Mom's boyfriend: *hangs up*
Mom: Why'd you do that!?
Me: Don't worry he'll be by to pick up his fried raccoon in an hour.
Dad: You know what I'll do when you bring a boy you like to meet me?
Me(a little worried): What?
Dad: I'll take him out into the yard to talk with him. Make him dig a hole, then bury him in it.
Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
A Supposedly Inspirational Story Takes a Dark Turn
This Edited Spongebob Episode Defines the Entire Gaming Industry
The Office Sandwich Thief: An Epistolary Saga
If Pokémon Said Their Names In Other Languages
Psycho Dad Runs Over His Son's Video Game Collection With ...
Emmys 2014: Who Knew The Cast of 'Game of Thrones' Cleaned ...
Pet Me Like This, Human!
Happy National Dog Day! Here Are 26 Reasons Why Dogs Are ...
SPOILERS: The Supposed Fake Super Smash Bros. Leaks Are Real! ...
Forget The Flood! That Hulk Statue is the Real News!
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more