(My Mom was watching the TV when I joined her. She had no idea I was gay.)
Mom: Any nice boys in your class?
Mom: Any nice boys in another class?
Mom: Do you even look at the boys?
Me: ... No, not really.
Mom: You prefer girls?
Me: ... Yes.
Mom: Any nice girls in your class?
(Somehow my mom and I ended up talking about penises, I was trying to change subject.)
Me: Anyways how was-
Mom: Just so you know you're not allowed to marry a man with a small penis.
Mom: Yeah. I don't want any small penises messing up our family genes.
Mom: What? Do you really want me to tell you about your father's?
Me: No! No, No. No.
Mom: Cause he was huuuuge!
Me: Oh my God, mom!
Mom: You can't marry a guy with a big butt. Big butts run in our family; We have to breed them down!
Me: Mom, there was this thing in the 20s and 30s, you may have heard of it... Eugenics?
Mom: I like my breeding program better than Hitler's.
(Talking to sister about a long string of failed relationships.)
Sister: Y'know, I've given up on men. Too much hassle.
Me: You should try women.
Sister: Been there, done that, collected their t-shirts.
Mother: (Walks in absent-mindedly) You should try horses....
Sister: Yeah, probably.
Reddit user x4everendeavorx writes:
My friend, a teacher for a 7th grade class, intercepted a love note between students. She returned it like this...
Get more mobile lols at Autocowrecks!
Mum: Are you a lesbian? That would be gross.
Me: Didnt you tell me you dated a lesbian for six months?
Mum: Yes, but we never went beyond kissing. She wanted to stay virgin until married.
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