Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is!
Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date.
Me: ... Huh?
Dad: It helps unzip your genes! Ha!
(Driving down the road nice and smoothly with my dad. Soon traffic hits and we come to an almost stop.)
Dad: What are we stopped for? A sex toy party?
Dad: I brake for edible underwear!
(Dad got a deer this season and is processing it himself).
Me: Ugh... There's body parts all inside the freezer.
Mom: People are going to think we're John Wayne Gacy.
Me: Didn't he have sex with the bodies first?
Mom: You weren't there.
Me: According to the lab I did, you and mom can't be homozygous dominant for ALU.
Dad: Baby, I ain't homo nothing.
Dad: If you get that girl pregnant you have to name the kid Fruitloop.
Dad: I lost a bet.
Dad: If you want to date, date somebody who's going to harass you, so I'll at least have an excuse when the police bring me into custody.
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